Love is an action or a feeling? It’s an easy question, isn’t it? We all know that the answer is both, obviously as indicated in the English dictionary - “Love” can be a verb (action) and a noun (feeling).
Now comes another question: Love - the action - and Love - the feeling, which one comes first? To me, this question is similar to the “Chicken and Egg - which one comes first?”. Tough, huh?
Some may say that you cannot have the act of love when you don’t have the feeling of love. So, it means love - the feeling - comes first. Some argue back by giving examples of heroes who sacrificed - an action of love - to those who they didn’t have the feeling of love and didn’t need love in return. They did for other purposes but love and they still carried the action of love. Again, both are true. It depends on how you choose to look at things. But as a friend, I would strongly suggest that you see love as a verb which comes before love - the feeling.
Why? Let’s assume that one day, you wake up and suddenly you feel that your love for your wife has gone. You don’t feel anything at all about her. Suddenly, she seems to be a stranger to you. Is this situation popular in life? Oh hell yes. Check with those working as family consultants.
If you are in this husband’s shoes, what should you do? Should you do nothing and wait till some day, the feeling will come back to you? Or should you kick a big fuss and end your marriage because there is no love? Say “Yes” to either of the two questions and I know you see love as a feeling which comes after love - the action. To you, your action is limited by your feeling. You admire “love at first sight”. You let your feeling control you and from there, you let yourself be acted upon instead of acting.
Will the above 2 solutions save your marriage? I’m sure you have the answer. That’s right - “Not at all”.
Well, it’s time for me to share with you how you can save the situation by changing your perspective to see love as a verb which comes before love - the feeling. If you do see love like that, what should you do? You will love your wife without love. It means that you will love her by listening to her, empathizing her, understanding her, sacrificing for her, affirming her, etc. Will all these save your marriage? Definitely. Then the feeling of love will eventually come back, you bet. It’s always there. You only need to reinforce it by the actions of love, which seems to become so rare recently.
Finally, there is no right or wrong in the way you see love as an action or a feeling first. It’s just that which way is more useful or helpful in the situation you’re in. Our world is so multiform for absolute, isn’t it?
Post your thoughts on this. =)
